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Post by bella on Apr 6, 2009 5:40:07 GMT -8
I've never wished for a second that I was normal. In fact, looking back. my life in Phoenix was dull compared to my life in Forks. I don't even call Phoenix home anymore. I still miss it, the sun, the way it feels on my skin, the heat. I can never go back there. It holds too many memories - some that I can never let myself think about.
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Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head.
And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear.
"Be happy," he told me.
I froze.
Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door.
New Moon, 376-377
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What happened? I listened to Edward's voice for the very last time. How can I still be in love with the person who shattered me? He left me here, in Forks. He broke me. He left me here, as a zombie and left me nothing to make it easier. It was a clean break - for him. Jacob Black was the only other person in the world that could make me put on a real smile, not the fake one I was prone do display to satisfy everyone else. Jacob made the pain go away. I could breath when I was with him. I was broken and he didn't care. Jacob loved every piece of me. I knew I wasn't going to be able to love someone the way I love Edward. I owed it to everyone - Charlie, Renee, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Jacob, and even Edward - I owed them to be happy. He wanted me to be happy. The only person I could feel remotely happy with other than Edward was Jacob. So, it my twisted reality, it made sense to just do it and kiss Jacob Black.
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Alice Cullen never showed up at Bella Swan's house. She never had the vision of her jumping off a cliff. In fact, Alice Cullen was pretty clueless as to who Bella was with. She couldn't see werewolves. Since Alice wasn't there that night, Bella somehow had encouragement enough to kiss Jacob Black.
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I leaned across him, grabbing his hand and pulling it away from the door handle. I looked into Jacob's dark eyes that were looking back at me puzzled. I hesitated for a second, and then I heard Edward again. "Be happy Bella," he said again. "Edward, I'll always love you, forever," I replied back in my head.
"Bella, what are you -" Jacob started but, I cut him off.
"I know I said earlier that I wasn't going to give in that easy but, I am." I explained. "Jacob, when I'm with you, I feel a million times better. You make me be...me. For that, I think I owe you something."
I slowly leaned forward, slowly closing my eyes. My lips inched closer and closer to his until they touched. It wasn't what I expected. Jacob was much different. For one, we could kiss for longer than a few seconds, and it was warm, soft, gentle. It didn't feel as wrong as I expected it would. The hole in my chest went completely away for those few moments I kissed Jacob. I knew that it would only come back when I was alone. I would try as hard as I could to never be alone again for very long. And so, Juliet picked Paris.
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Jacob and Bella are now a couple. No one at Bella's school knows about it but, Charlie, Billy, and everyone else in La Push does. Charlie and Billy are pleased by it. Charlie says he saw it coming. He constantly reminds Bella that Jacob is a good boy for her. If he only knew that Jacob was a werewolf, he might have changed his mind. Since Jacob and Bella re now together, officially, he spends a lot of his time, at night, close to Bella's house - well, as much as he can. There has been no sign of Victoria in the past few months but, Jake remains protective of Bella. A vampire is no contest for him.
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Two months after Bella and Jake have been together, Alice pokes around Forks. No one sees her, she stops by at night - to make sure Bella is OK. There is a vision that's troubling her - Victoria killing Bella, something kills Victoria, and then Edward appears at Bella's side. Alice isn't sure what to do so, she keeps an eye on Bella, like Carlise has asked. Alice hasn't told Edward about this vision. She only told Carlisle and Esme. Edward is somewhere to the south. Alice is sure this could change so, she doesn't want to upset Edward more then she has too when he finds out she is in Forks.
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