If I Could be Anyone Else;; [[closed to Zane]]

[Zane Alexander Harlow]

The main reason Zane didn't have any friends was because he refused to trust people. He'd seen what problems trusting could cause, and wasn't willing to put himself into those situations anymore. Situations where someone was likely to use him, or betray him. It was one of the reasons he really liked Ash... She was honest with him. In the end, at least. Even if her answers were occasionally little white lies, she told him the truth eventually. He felt like he could trust her.

The male was thinking the exact thing about Ash. Not her being foolish so much, but in denial a little bit, and most certainly stubborn. He knew he was being unmovable on the subject as well, but he didn't care. Why couldn't Ash just understand that he wasn't afraid of whatever might happen to him for being friends with her? He didn't care what came about because of it.

"Yes, Ash, I can stand by and not tell anyone." Zane was a very good liar, but that was not a lie. The thing was, he did see it from Ash's point of view. He knew he was in danger just by being her friend, and that she didn't want to see him get hurt, but he didn't want to see her hurt either. He wanted to help her, however unlikely it was that he could do that.

The male sighed quietly. Ash was right about one thing: He really did have no idea what was going on. Not with Calderact and their plans and everything. He leaned slightly to the side, resting his shoulder against the trunk of the tree. His eyes focused on the ground for a moment, narrowed slightly, his face set in a look of annoyance, but concentration as well; a frown creased his lips.

"I'm willing to take my chances Ash." He said at last, gaze still resting on the grass. The only problem was he knew she wasn't, "So why aren't you? If something happens to me, it's not on you. It's not your fault. This is a decision I'm making, or trying to make in the least." She wasn't exactly making it easy.

[Ashley-Raine Wolfe]

Ash had major trust issues, and had done since she was a very small child. Her family had treated her like some kid prodigy, and hadn't shown an ounce of love to her. Especially her mother. It was her mother who had turned her into a stubborn young girl - and Ash had not missed her when she died. Her twin siblings, which were both alike in looks and personality had treated her like she didn't even exist. It had been hard in her early years, but she had had her father beside her, guiding her ...

And then ofcourse everything had changed.

She was stuck in a world where she didn't feel like she belonged. She was a pureblood, yet she was fascinated with muggles. She was a Slytherin, but she adored Gryffindors. She was a Death Eater, but she hated Calderact ... She would just love to find somebody who could understand her, and she was sure that she found that person - but there was just one problem; she didn't want to see him getting hurt. She couldn't stand to lose anyone else ... He wouldn't be the first person she'd lost, even if she didn't care to admit it.

"Why must you make this so difficult for me?" She asked quietly, placing a hand on her head and rubbing her temple. She didn't want to suddenly cut ties with Zane, but she felt like it would be for the best - it could save his life, and her own to. Perhaps she was being selfish, but she didn't see it that. A lot of people died every day, because of the Death Eaters and Calderact ... An Auror died because of her. She didn't want Zane to join them. She didn't want to have to go and take flowers to his grave because she was too selfish to end her friendship with him.

Either way, someone was going to get hurt.

The female was finding it hard to just leave Zane and walk away ... She didn't want to have to do that. She liked him. He was the only 'normal' person to ever talk to her; the only person to ever want to help her. Who had helped her. If she was going to end her ties with him, then she was going to have to do it now, or never. Unfortunately, her heart was telling her that she needed Zane and his support and she was reluctant to give that all up. It would have been better if he would listen to her. Easier.

The female glanced away, and then down at the ground, lowering her arm so that she could cross it over her chest with the other one. She was trying to make a decision, though it be a hard one. She liked Zane ... A lot. He was the only person she'd ever trusted completely, and the only one that she didn't despise in some way. She owed him a lot, and right now she felt like she was acting like a complete idiot in her attempt to forget about him. How could she? He was her first and only friend.

"I'm scared." She admitted, her voice quiet. "I've hardly slept at all since coming to Hogwarts this year, I have nightmares every time I close my eyes. My Dark Mark burns more than it should ... Sometimes it's more than I can bare. An Auror ... An Auror died because of me. He died because I wouldn't listen to a direct order from Calderact, and now I see his head explode every night, it's like I'm reliving it over and over again. Calderact made sure of all of this by biting me ... Cursing me. She explained, trying not to get herself all worked up. She suconscious hoped that the Dark Lord was not spying on her at this very moment, but more than that, she had more things to worry about.

"I don't want to see you die aswell. I don't want to see you in nightmares ... Promise me you won't die." She asked of him, and then she looked up, directly peering into his eyes. She would forget about leaving him and his friendship, if only he would promise her that,

[Zane Alexander Harlow]

Zane sighed quietly as Ash spoke. He knew he was making it hard on her, but she was also doing the same for him. He knew the reasons that she wanted to severe her ties with him, and he understood them. He knew this wasn't something she wanted to do, but something she felt that she had to do, and he was just making it difficult for her to make her decision. He had much the same thoughts of selfishness, and if he was being so by not allowing her to do what she felt she needed to. But he couldn't let go of her...

The male wished he could say he was surprised when he heard Ash say she was scared when she spoke again, but he wasn't. Who wouldn't be in her position? Things were so hard for her. Each and every decision was important, because often times neither one of the outcomes was desired. She either had to hurt someone, or someone would be hurt because of her. And she hadn't asked for any of this. She'd been born into it. Hadn't had a say. He knew how that felt...

For a moment, he just watched her, but as her eyes came to meet his, his expression hardened, and he stepped forward. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, he wrapped his arms tightly around Ash, hugging her, "Ash you have every right in the world to be scared." He pulled her against him, "And no matter what happened because of your decision, you made the right one." That man would have died anyways, he was quite sure. But Ash had refused to be a murderer, and it was the right choice in his mind.

"I promise you, Ash." There wasn't a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

[Ashley-Raine Wolfe]

Perhaps the two of them meeting was indeed destiny; something that had een planned y the fates ... They were like Yin and Yang, and went well together, and not so well when they were apart. Ash already felt quite attached to Zane, hence the reason she had been reluctant to just go and end her ties with him. Severe the bonds that she had made with the male ... Even if he didn't feel some way inclined to stay friends with her, it would have been hard for her to let him go, ecause nobody had ever helped her the way he had.

She didn't want to let him go.

Not once in her entire life had she ever had someone to take care of her, or anyone that had showed an ounce of consideration for her feelings. Anyone else might have given up on her already, because she wasn't always the most grateful of souls, nor the friendliest, but she tried her best. She was ridiculed because of who her father was, and how she had acted in the past, and how she'd been brought up, but her attitude was the way it was because of those people and how her life had been. However, Zane had never once judged her.

Before she could speak, the male had pulled her against him, and she stood frozen in place, her breath caught in her chest. No-one had ever hugged her like that before; like they cared. For a moment she had no idea what to do, and she was stuck in placce, her mind whirling in a hundred different directions. Perhaps in the end she had made the right choice, in so many things in her life. She chose to be different - to stray from her family's tradition because it was the right thing to do. She had chosen now, to not give up on Zane.

She needed him.

Raising her arms, she wrapped them around his waist, hugging him back as her head rested against his chest. She felt almost odd standing there like that, for it was new to her, and yet she found that she liked it.

"Good ... Because I'd never forgive you." Never forgive him for dying, that is. She'd already inadvertedly killed her very first friend; her father's old python. She'd never forgiven herself for that, and she'd hadn't forgiven the snake for dying on her either. Infact, it had een very upsetting, and still was at times. The Auror had died ecause of her and she wouldn't forgive the idiot for that either ... But Zane sounded so sure of himself, and so for that she was grateful.

After a few moments she pulled away, but not completely. She raised her right hand and placed it upon the male's left cheek as she looked up into his eyes. He was definately real, and alive ... She hoped that it would stay that way.

[Zane Alexander Harlow]

Zane chuckled quietly, his arms still tightly around Ash, as she spoke. He found her words to be ironic, but was sure she was well aware of that. It would, afterall, be of little matter to him whether or not she forgave him if he were dead, for he would be unaware. He believed in the afterlife, but was unsure as to how it worked, and doubted the dead could watch over the world of the living without becoming a ghost.

"I'll keep that in mind." He replied back, subconsciously wondering that a sight the two of them made. A Slythering and Gryffindor hugging, not to mention two people well known for preferring to be left alone. He didn't care though. People could think what they wanted to think, and say what they wanted to say. He could literally care less.

After a few more moments, Zane released the female, and took a step back, light green eyes lingering on her face, "I know it's near impossible Ash, but try and relax. I know you have a ton to worry about, but at this very moment, you don't. Nothing's happening. So take a moment to try and forget about some of that stuff. It might make you feel a bit better."

He was aware that what he was asking of her was near impossible. She was in such a difficult situation, with so much to worry about, but it was her best bet at staying sane, he was sure. She needed to try and relax during the brief periods when she wasn't being tormented by Calderact or her father, or being asked to torment someone. It would be hard, but he hoped she'd be able to feel a bit better.

[Ashley-Raine Wolfe]

It mattered little to Ash either way, for she still believed that Zane would be somehow affected by her words if he were dead, and she hadn't forgiven him. Like how ghosts were always kept on earth, among the living because they had some unfinished business to take care of. Ash in a way believed that she would end up like the bloody baron or something, forever doomed to haunt the halls of Hogwarts, and ofcourse simply because she likely would have done something wrong and would need to repent.

Now that she thought about it, Ash had a lot to repent for. She was not the nicest girl in the world, nor was she the friendliest, or the most talented, or level headed. She'd done a lot of wrong things, whether they be silly little ones, or big ones, like the fact that there had been a time when she had liked being a Death Eater ... Almost. Ofcourse she hadn't really followed any of their beliefs, but she had been hooked on power, and that in itself was like a curse to some people.

As Zane pulled away, Ash took a deep breath. She really didn't care if anyone had been watching - she was sure she and Zane were already the talk of the school at the current moment, what with him carrying her while running, to the infirmary because she had blood pouring out of her eyes ... Indeed, it didn't really matter. The girl had never really been concerned with what others thought about her, and nor did she think that she ever would be either.

She sighed quietly and nodded. "You know Zane, the more I get to know you, the more surprised I am that you don't have a girlfriend." She informed him, honestly. He was such a nice boy, and he'd already been very kind to her. If she was into boys, she would probably fancy the pants off of him - though that isn't to say that she didn't like him in that way at all. She just wasn't all that bothered - plus she'd never had a boyfriend before.

((If you wanted to put Spencer to use, I could have Ash meet up with him? I thought it would be cool if they met anyway ))

[Zane Alexander Harlow]

((Watcha have in mind?))

It was clear that comment had caught Zane off guard, as he stared at Ash in slight surprise. It was certainly a switch of topic, though he could see the connection. Nonetheless, he hadn't been expecting that in the least. And so, the boy merely shrugged, unsure exactly what to say in response. He wasn't surprised he didn't have a girlfriend, simply because he didn't want one.

He'd had one or two in the past, and even recently had had girls try to flirt with him, and a couple even ask him out on dates, but he'd denied their advances altogether. He just wasn't interested in being in a relationship, though he couldn't give someone a clear answer why. It just seemed like too much stress and hassle, and he had enough of that already.

"Never really thought about that I guess." He responded at last with a second shrug, "Don't really want one though, I suppose." He couldn't really give her a clearer or better answer than that.

[Ashley-Raine Wolfe]

((Maybe something to do with Derek - or he could find out she's a death eater and blackmail her or something lol Dunno really, but my mind works in mysterious ways ))

Ash raised a brow, honestly a little surprise. It wasn't everyday that she had met a male who wasn't interested in girls or girlfriends, though she would admit that Zane wasn't exactly the most normal wizard that she had met. Anyone else would have gotten fed up with her stubborness by now, or handed her over for being affiliated with the death eaters and Calderact, but he'd simply helped her. He hadn't even minded hearing that she was a Werewolf and that in itself was strange.

However it was still a little odd.

"A guy whose not interested in girlfriends? ... Are you sure you're human?" She asked light heartedly. As if she could talk though, being a werewolf and all. All the same, the male had suggested that she take her mind off things and so this was the way she would do it. Talking about unrelative things was sure to distract her, even if they were so odd as the conversation they were not having. She also knew, however, that she should probably get rest, and she had lots of homework to do ...

She sighed quietly and shook her head.